You MUST add this to your blogroll

I don't know about you guys, but I'm all for finding new and interesting ways to waste time at work...especially on Fridays. So I was super pleased when a friend of mine introduced me to Jennsylvania, a blog by writer Jen Lancaster. Jen's also written a couple of books (which I will be running to Barnes & Noble today during my lunch break to purchase), and the titles alone should give you a pretty good idea of her fabulously snarky and cynical-but-hilarious style:

Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, or Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office

and

Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why It Often Sucks In the City, or Who Are These Idiots and Why Do They Live Next Door to Me?

I KNOW! Sounds hilarious, right? And although I haven't read either (YET), I feel confident in recommending both judging solely on the hilarity of her blog. So go buy them now, and read them both before May when her third book, "Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Find Out if Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie is Not the Answer," will be released.

(Hey, T! Now maybe you can give up on your obsession with that Celiac Disease blog! ;)

Thank you, Dr. Phil

"So, you're here with a bachelorette party, huh?"

"Yep..."

"Yours?"

(Laughs hysterically) "Oh, you're serious. No, not mine."

"You don't want to get married?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well it's a proven fact that most girls start thinking about marriage at age 25."

"OK...."

"I was a psychology major."

"Really..."

"Yeah. So if you're not thinking about marriage by now, you're in the minority. You're weird."

Thank you, random guy. Thank you for psycho-analyzing me -- Pioneer Square is your office, a rickety barstool your couch and me, your unsuspecting target.

Attention guys: CHOOSE your words carefully...

I'll start this by saying that my sister is much nicer than I am. Maybe "nicer" isn't the right word, but she's definitely much less cynical and judgmental. And I envy that in her. So when she gets a call on Saturday night from a guy she met months ago and never went out with but occasionally text messages (I don't even think they've talked on the phone), she answers and invites him to meet us at Pesos, even though she knew there was no potential with him. I think she just didn't know what to say, and "Yeah, you should meet up with us," was the first thing that came to mind.

So a few hours later, he's shown up...ALONE...and she's busy entertaining him because he's socially awkward and unwilling to make conversation with anyone else. (See? There's that judgmentalness coming out.) At some point during the night, he asks her my least favorite question to be asked by a guy: "So why don't you have a boyfriend?"

"Why do you ask?" she says.
He answers, "I'm just surprised no one has chosen you yet."

Chosen. Chosen?! CHOSEN?

That word struck both my sister and me as a ridiculously terrible choice. Like he was implying that if she was lucky enough to be "chosen" by anyone, she would immediately succumb to him. Like she's just one item in a catalog of women. Like you could choose her like you'd choose a good piece of steak. (Aaaand here's the cynicism...) Ugh. Realistically, I know that really wasn't what he was implying. I realize that he just chose the wrong word. But either way, it was a dealbreaker for my sister.

So let this be a lesson for all you guys out there: Make sure you choose your words carefully when asking a girl about her current single status. More often than not, it's a touchy subject.