My dating life, in a nutshell

I think this conversation does a pretty good job of summing up why I'm single:

Lauren: So do you have any romantic feelings for him?
Me: He's fun to hang out with, but I'm not sure about romantic feelings...
Lauren: Not sure? Before it was just no?
Me: I don’t know! At first it was no but now it’s probably not but maybe. But maybe it’s just the alcohol and the attention. But maybe not. See? Not sure is the perfect expression :)

Some vague insight

Courtesy of Jason Mraz.

I know, I know...enough of this Jason Mraz lyric stuff, right? But I think most people would (or will) be able to identify with these lyrics at some point in their lives.

"If It Kills Me" (From the Casa Nova Sessions)
We Sing - EP

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that’s a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn’t healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby there’s a lot that I miss
In case I’m wrong

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

If I should be so bold
I’d ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I’ve longed to be your man
But I never said I would
I guess I’m gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It’s a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me

(And no, I'd rather not explain myself -- I have a reputation to uphold, you know.)

Who says Pie Charts aren't effective?

This just might be the funniest thing I've seen all....month. Definitely all day, and probably all week, at least. And man did I need it...


Study: Nearly 80 Percent Of Roommates Got So Drunk Last Night

Which reminds me, I miss the 18-24 age group...

The thin line between acquaintance and friend

Talk about a gray area. Is it just me, or is the time between when an acquaintance becomes a friend one of the most difficult-to-navigate relationships? You believe that this person is the kind of person you can be friends with (read: someone you trust, who respects you, who's not malicious or selfish or heartless), but you really don't have anything to base that belief on...yet.

I am, by nature, a very trusting person. I'd like to think that this is because I've been lucky enough to surround myself with very trustworthy and kind friends, but I know even I've gotten burned when it comes to trusting the people closest to me. So now, I know who I trust and who I don't, and I move through my relationships accordingly.

But in that gray area? Much harder to figure it all out.

In her defense, I can't (and don't) claim ownership. But I can't help but think that her motives were selfish. But of course, I don't know this for sure -- she's still in that gray area.

A match made in fast food heaven

Jason Mraz and Meiko would make a cutest little hot-dog-and-curly-fries combo meal...

Meiko ("You & Onions"):

I'm a hot dog
Sittin' in the fog
Waitin' for my day in the sun
And I'm all alone
Far away from home
Just me, my mustard, and my bun

And though I miss you
But time is on my side
And though I need you
But you and onions make me cry

And I'm all beef
But I have a heart
And it's splitting now that you've gone away
And I wish everything was kosher as me
But I'm not healthy for you anyway

And though I miss you
But time is on my side
And though I need you
But you and onions make me cry

Jason Mraz ("Too Much Food"):

You can say that I'm one curly fry in the box of the regular
Messing with the flavor oh the flavor that you savor
Saving me for last but you better not eat me at all
Living in a fast food bag making friends with the ketchup and salt
People say that I'm crazy for not moving on to better things
Instead I'm sitting around trash talking with the onion rings
But it's much too soon to leave this easy life
Pass me the spoon, pass the analytical knife

Cause you're about to get cut and get cut down
It's all about the wordplay all about the sound in the tone of my voice
You gotta let me make my choice alone before my food gets cold
Better shut up or get shot down
It's all about the know how all just a matter of taste
Stop telling me the way I gotta play, you're puttin' too much food on my plate

Believe it or not I super sized my sights on the surprise in the cereal box
My stomach's smaller than my eyes
So I went to see the doctor and he said "turn your head and then cough"
I didn't listen to what he said instead I couldn't wait to get off
He said I can have this but I can't have that
That I should keep wishing I was living the life of a cat because
I ain't the one whose gonna be missing the feast
Just like you ain't the one who seems to be calming the beast

Now you're about to get cut and get cut down
It's all about the wordplay all about the sound in the tone of my voice
You gotta let me make my choice alone before my food gets cold
Better shut up or get shot down
It's all about the know how all just a matter of taste
Stop telling me the way I gotta play, you're puttin' too much food on my plate

Well if you are what you eat in my case I'll be sweet so come and get some
I'm so over it

Now you're about to get cut and get cut down
It's all about the know how all just a matter of taste
Stop telling me the way I gotta play, you're puttin' too much food on my plate

Where traditional dating and online dating meet

I think I've mentioned before that my preferred method of meeting potential dates is through friends. That way, at least somebody's vouching for them and you know they're probably not a psycho (and I stress the probably...because we've all been burned by our matchmakers, right?). So I thought it was kind of cool that someone thought to combine my preferred method and the method I usually have to resort to in one place.

Engage.com is, according to the Web site, "where dating gets social." The cool kids over at TechCrunch explain it better than I could:

Engage differentiates itself from traditional dating sites (Match, eHarmony, PlentyofFish, etc) by getting friends involved in the process of finding you that perfect guy or gal. If you are looking for love (and Engage is certainly geared towards those looking to land serious relationships, not set up transitory encounters), you can invite your real-life friends to become friends on Engage. Once onboard, they sit in a friends list that stays with you on the left-hand side of the site wherever you go.

Or, if pictures are more your thing:

(Courtesy of Engage.com)


I don't know about you, but I think this is an extraordinarily good idea. I've signed up but have yet to build out my friends list, so I'll keep you updated as to how it works.

On a personal note...

I'm going to the John Mayer concert in the Bay Area in July!!!

Can you tell I'm just slightly excited? The stars aligned and it just so happened that, while he's not coming to Seattle (shame on you, John), he's playing the Shoreline Amphitheathre in Mountain View, Calif., while I'm in the Bay Area for work!

And thanks to my status as a John Mayer Official Fanclub member (and proud of it!), I was able to participate in a presale, scored ninth-row seats and will be rocking this t-shirt to the concert:


WOO!

Giving "The Emerald City" a whole new meaning

A 20-cent grocery bag fee, huh Mayor Nichols? Well why the heck not, I say.

...Besides, anything that gives me a chance to buy a new bag is a-okay by me. Personally, I currently rock the large Fred Meyer tote but am seriously considering upgrading to something cuter.

Other fun facts:

• Seattle Public Utilities estimates the city uses 360 million bags a year, or 600 per person (OMG)
• Per SPU, the city would collect $10 million per year from this initiative -- Approximately $2 million would go to provide and promote reusable bags, and the rest would go toward waste prevention, recycling and environmental-education programs.
• Mayor Nichols rocks at this "being green" thing. In the past year he's ended the purchase of bottled water by city departments, proposed requiring all new Seattle taxis to get at least 30 miles per gallon and hosted a conference for U.S. mayors on climate change where he persuaded more than 700 mayors to sign on to a pledge to reduce greenhouse-gas emissions based on the Kyoto Protocol.

Seems it really is easy being green (...I couldn't resist!).

Make 'em laugh

If I had to venture a guess at what the most common answer to the question, "What do you look for in a man/woman?" is, I'd definitely say sense of humor. I mean, who doesn't like to laugh? I think a guy who's witty is instantly more attractive than a guy who isn't (in the same way tall guys have an automatic advantage over shorter guys in my book). I consider myself funny, and therefore I look for someone who shares my sense of humor, or at least complements it. I also think that all of my girlfriends would agree with me here.

In the words of Donald O'Connor, "Make 'em laugh."

So I wonder if men place the same value on finding a partner with a sense of humor as women do. One of my guy friends once told me that he doesn't think women are funny. I protested, and he revised his previous statement, saying "OK, I don't think women are as funny as men." While I'm not totally convinced this is true, The Seattle Times' Nicole Tsong suggests that it's just a different kind of funny:

Boys and girls are socialized early with distinct approaches to humor, said humor expert Morreall. Boys are encouraged to entertain and act out, while girls learn to appreciate a joke, not put on the show.

That dynamic is prevalent in dating. To put it bluntly, men want someone who laughs at their punch lines, while women look for someone who makes them giggle.

There are exceptions, of course, with the rise of female comics who have appropriated male humor, like the brash Sarah Silverman. Others have succeeded with a more feminine style, like funny but gentle Ellen DeGeneres. But in general, men are expected to be the funny ones.

She continues:

In a study published in the academic journal "Evolution and Human Behavior," psychologists Eric Bressler and Sigal Balshine tested graduate students with pictures attached to funny and nonfunny statements and evaluated the way it affected how men and women viewed each other.

They found that humor makes men more desirable to women but does not affect men's view of women.

So my question here is for the guys. How important is it to you that a woman you're dating be funny? And how do you define funny? Is it that she can crack a joke with the best of 'em, or that she appreciates and laughs at yours? And on the flip side -- Girls: Is a sense of humor among one of your top requirements?