On men and catnip

I pride myself on the fact that I'm not one of those girls who lets her desire to meet a man dictate everything else in her life. Take my friend, for example (who shall remain nameless...) -- she'll decide whether or not to attend a party, RSVP yes to a wedding or commit to any weekend plans based on her assessment of the girl-to-hot-guy ratio. Now, I get that eye candy makes every thing more fun, but it shouldn't be the end-all, be-all of your social calendar.

I was recently invited to a party by one of my friend's boyfriends. He was throwing the party to celebrate her new, uber-fancy job. Unfortunately, I already had plans the night of the party, so I responded with a "Maybe," thinking I may have time to stop by after I'd finished with my prior commitment. Seeing my wishy-washy response, my friend emailed me to tell me that she really hopes I'll be able to stop by the party because her boyfriend is "inviting a few of his single guy friends."

Sometimes I think that, as a single woman, people assume that we all operate this way, filling our social calendars based on the possibility of meeting a man. To the single gals out there, how many times have you felt like someone was dangling the potential of single guys in front of you, expecting you to jump all over it faster than a cat on one of those catnip-filled mouse-on-a-string toys?

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not going to meet anyone sitting on my couch alone or hanging out with the same people I always do. I know I need to put myself out there in order to expand my "network," so to speak, and increase my chances of avoiding Spinsterville. But I think there's a fine line between making a concerted effort to "get out there" and letting the need to find a guy dictate your life. Personally, I feel like I have a pretty good handle on this. Will I make more of an effort to stop by my friend's party as a result of her catnip-dangling strategy? Yeah, I probably will. But the difference is that I'll be doing it with the hopes of meeting new people and making new friends. I know there's a possibility of something happening, but at the same time, I'm not going to let it make or break my night.

What it all boils down to is that I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I know I can do things to increase my chances of making things "happen," whether they be man-related or not, but I also strongly believe that what's meant to be will eventually be. And with that in mind, I like to think I've saved myself from having to constantly chase catnip...er, men.