10.04.2007

Single? Check.

Slow day at work. And when I say slow, I mean "I have a ton to do but don't really feel like doing it."

Oh c'mon, you've all been there.

So I thought this might be fun. I found it while blog-hopping today (I know what you're thinking, and if it's not a word yet, it should be). Credit goes to The Gawker...don't ask me how I ended up there -- it just happened...

Apparently, this is how you can tell if a woman is single just by checking out her pad. Let's see just how accurate this is, shall we?

1. Piles of magazines everywhere, comprised of tons of pretentious ones that are clearly untouched and then severely thumbed-through Vogues and Luckys.
Kinda. I'm more of a Seattle/Seattle Metropolitan magazine kinda gal. But I do pick up a Vanity Fair or Wired every once in a while just to look fancy and smart. So check.

2. Overflowing shoe rack and nothing in the fridge.
DEFINITELY check. If you're hungry, don't come to my place. But if you're looking for a pair of "can't live without" BCBG peep toes, I may be able to help you.

3. Scented candles.
So many, I can't count. Check.

4. Slovenly heaps of little-used makeup in the bathroom.
I keep my slovenly heaps of makeup out of sight, thankyouverymuch.

5. Stuffed animals in the bed.
Just one. And in my defense, I usually use him as a pillow. Check.

6. Cat hair on the furniture.
I don't do cats, only selective cat sitting. And only for my old roommate's more-doglike-than-catlike cat Bob.

7. Cat smell.
OK...is someone trying to imply that all single girls are crazy cat ladies? I'm slightly offended.

8. Cabinets full of mugs featuring the likeness of lady who looks like those hypertrophically-limbed Daily Candy illustrations, bearing the legend "I Love Shopping" or whatnot.
Does "Purse Princess" wall art count? Yes? Then check.

9. Anything pink.
Wow. I swear I didn't read ahead before deciding to use pink text... Check.

10. Ornamental pillows.
Check, check, check and check. And that's just for the couch...

11. Unedited bookshelves, esp. if they include He's Just Not That Into You or anything along those lines.
Check. And I love 'em.

12. Nair
Really now, who uses Nair anymore?

13. Lite cottage cheese in the fridge.
I'll do you one better and say FAT FREE cottage cheese. Take that. Check.

14. Anything lite or diet around. Cases of Diet Coke. Weight Watchers 'Just 2 Points' bars.
I once had so many cases of Diet Coke stacked on a shelf in my closet that their weight pulled the shelf right out of the wall. Check.

15. Inspirational or thinspirational things on the fridge.
Nah. Not into it.

16. Framed posters.
Thanks to my $19.99 Ikea frame and obsession with vintage posters, check.

17. Handbag tree.
Let's be honest. It would take a whole forest to hold my handbag collection. Check.

12 out of 17 in case there was any doubt in anyone's mind about my current relationship status...

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